fanclubwallet’s Hannah Judge delves into the angst and charm of her debut album “You Have Got to Be Kidding Me,” a beautifully cathartic pop mayhem
for fans of Beach Bunny, Deanna Petcoff, girlhouse, Abby Holliday, MarthaGunn
Broadcast: “Gr8 Timing!” – fan club wallet
The whole thing was written at times when I really felt insecure; I think the record is a bit of a big identity crisis.
Fanclubwallet’s Hannah Judge is one of the purest and most unfiltered artists on the indie scene today.
She wears her heart on her sleeve and pours her soul into every song, using music not only as a form of therapy, but also as an alternate lens through which to experience, process and understand her world. This intimate and honest approach served him well on last year’s enchanting debut EP. The wound is boring, and it once again allows him to stand out from the crowd on his brand new album. A feverish outpouring of agonizing alternative and lazier chamber rock, You are laughing at me is beautifully cathartic pop mayhem.
i deserve to be
With someone who hurts me
So I’ll just pass
All my time with myself
I don’t need anyone else’s help
Is it so easy
For you to see through me
Now that I’ve gone and shown myself
To someone else
Not great timing on your part
Fine until it’s proven you’re not
I don’t know how I was convinced
you are not like him
– “Gr8 timing!“, fan club wallet
Sometimes life just sucks. Released May 20, 2022 via AWAL, You are laughing at me knows exactly what it does: fanclubwallet’s first feature is a soundtrack to the highs and lows of this roller coaster ride we’re all on. It’s an attempt to make sense of things and understand ourselves better in the process. Above all, it is a conscious and caring effort to do more than go through the motions: live with intention and dwell on the moments that matter, whether big or small, long or short. It’s an empathetic collection of soothing implosions and tender turmoil; small upheavals and passionate revisions of our deepest and darkest depths. Whether or not you make it through the years, there’s something about fanclubwallet’s soulful blend of tension and tranquility that makes this record intoxicating and irresistible.
Ottawa-based Hannah Judge’s artist moniker fanclubwallet debuted in March 2020 and, despite an untimely start (we all know what happened that month), quickly amassed a repertoire that breathes of a marvelous and multiform light. Judge describes his style as “writing emo shit that doesn’t sound emo,” and his EP and album deliver on that promise. By naming his song “Car Crash in G Major” at Atwood’s Editor’s Choice column earlier this year, I praised fanclubwallet’s warmth and purity: “Understated sounds, muffled vocals and soft poetry coalesce in a beautiful marriage that feels welcoming and familiar, like you’re listening to the demo tape. of a friend with them for the very first time, every time.
Born in the heaviest moments of life, You are laughing at me is a painful, vulnerable and visceral calculus.
Judge’s lyrics explore the turbulence of coming of age and the growing pains associated with it; she dives into everything from loneliness and desire to intimacy, loss, and more. It all comes to life in a captivating soundscape that the artist coined “lazy chamber rock.”
“The record was kind of written in bursts, a little here and a little there,” Hannah Judge said. Atwood magazine. “The whole thing was written at times when I felt really unsure of myself; I think the record is a bit of a big identity crisis. We recorded a part at home, a part in a loft where I was staying in MTL and another in Port William Sound in Frontenac, Ontario. I knew I wanted to create something a little more synthetic and rely a little more on my influences. I don’t think I really had a vision for the record until about halfway through writing it, after I did ‘That I Won’t Do’, I was like, ‘Ok, yeah that’s what it should look like.’ When we started recording I went into it thinking I wanted to do a lot of upbeat dance songs, which I guess I did – but I also ended up getting super depressed and writing songs a lot more sad than expected. So that has changed a bit. »
“I think this record really expands on what fanclub wallet can be in a sonic sense,” she adds. “I think you see some facets of the fanclub wallet that you don’t see on the EP while still staying true to the overall fun banter of the EP.”
Although the title of the record is a nod to the final song of the same name, it also aptly captures the angst, exasperation and general mood of these songs. “I felt like that a lot,” Judge recalled. “Writing about a lot of the same topics, so being like, ‘Wow, are you kidding me, THIS again?’”
I thought I ran away
Indemnified from what you had to say
I guess you lied to me
When you said you would stay
I said I would stay
And now the party stops
You are laughing at me
And can I take a break
You don’t see me like that
You don’t see me like that
I’m just kidding
No need to overreact
I don’t like the way you act
Tell me who made you like this?
Highlights abound throughout the set of twelve intensely emotional and eruptive tracks with fanclubwallet taste. Standout sounds include the driving rocker “Gr8 Timing!”, moody, subdued “Go out”, the propelling “National Tv”, and the final two tracks “Jar” and “You Have Got to Be Kidding Me”.
For Judge, that last title track and the ethereal, atmospheric “Fell Through” are two definite favorites. “I’m just the proudest of how these songs sound and how they make me feel,” she explains. Lyrically, she cites these two lines as her proudest moments: “You came to my house / you opened all the jars and you forgot them / I guess it makes / us and them past the best before date” and “Just kidding/ No need to overreact/ I don’t like the way you act/ Tell me who made you like this.“
“I just hope for what I always hope for when I release music, which is that someone listens and feels like they can either relate in some way. other, or dance,” Judge shares. “I think personally writing this album made me a much better musician in a technical sense. I also learned that releasing an album is really stressful.
Check out the full disc via our exclusive stream and take a peek inside fanclubwallet You are laughing at me with Atwood Magazine as Hannah Judge goes track by track through the music and lyrics of her debut album! You can catch fanclubwallet on tour with Penelope Scott and Yot Club in June (More info here).
Stream: ‘You must be kidding me’ – fanclubwallet
:: On the inside You are laughing at me ::
Solid Ground was written when I started working in a more professional part of the music industry, I was afraid I wasn’t good enough and panicked. But then I wrote this song and I was like “ok you know what I like how my music sounds so who cares!”
I took stuff that was said to me on a bad breakup and just put it into a song. This one is honestly just me reviewing that breakup and what happened that day, but to a groovy beat. I don’t know why I wanted to make such a groovy song for a sad subject.
This one is not about anything at all, but rather about a feeling. It was done in a day after doing a cool loop on logic and it became one of my favorite songs.
Toast was written when I was just beginning to recover from a Crohn’s flare. I’m talking about “I haven’t learned anything in all this fucking year, it doesn’t really matter since I disappeared” because I hadn’t really seen my friends or anyone. since a year. I really felt like I didn’t exist because I was stuck inside.
try to be nice
I wrote this song kind of broken up over a few years, going through a lot of changes. You can tell it’s a pretty old song because I mention Facebook haha. I used to change my name on Facebook all the time and I think it really confused people. But that’s what I feel in this song, like a bunch of different people at once.
I used to make music like that all the time in high school, so it’s great that there’s a song like that on the album. It just happened because my SK-1 keyboard started looping crazy, so I decided to lean on that!
I had just moved to Montreal and had left a lot of people behind in Ottawa, and I wasn’t really sure I had made the right choice. Maybe I was trying to escape something, who really knows. I was listening to a lot of Duster when I did that.
What I won’t do
“What I won’t do” is realize that some people may not be good for you. I was super depressed when I made this song; I also listened to a lot of Teen Suicide.
This song ended up replacing another song on the album that I didn’t like as much. I had heard a song that I was pretty sure was about me and I felt really sick and tired of hearing songs about me haha. So it’s just me ranting about it.
Coming over is really old, I think it’s like the third or fourth Fanclubwallet song ever written. I wrote this after walking my partner’s dog and thinking about how much I missed my old home. People think it’s a love song for one person, but it’s just about my old house.
I was losing my mind when I wrote jar, I wrote it during a big heat wave. I don’t really remember what it is but I love this song.
You are laughing at me
This is the last song we did for the album, I wrote most of it in this studio called Port William Sound in the woods. This is gas lighting. I know that word gets used a lot, but that’s really about it.
— — — —
Discover new music on Atwood Magazine
📸 © Ian Filipovic